Just Hang U's Diary...

Thursday, August 31, 2006

" ; Thursday, August 31, 2006 "

31'08'06
sorry if i actualli wrote somethings disappointin to u all....
not feeling well now...with red and swollen eyes...i would like to continue ...
veri down now...realli sad...and heartbroken...feel like dying...
i m realli tired..is ther a place i could jus stop n sit down n jus doze off..n die..
can god jus send mi home to where he is ...bt i noe i cant...
coz i promised myself not to do those stewpid things....and i noe i wont....
bt this is how i felt now...the heart is full of holes of blood drippin down....
the pain in heart..noone noes...like broke into million of pieces...
i feel helpless and lost man...
my heart is empty...mind is empty....i m that stewpid all along...the dumbest person
....i realli take time to forget someone who u likes or love alot....
....i thought i realli forgotten him...may be i was bluff by myself too...
i thought being cheerful...puttin everyting away...puttin a mask on...
everyting will be fine...haha...ya...everyting is gettin all wired up...
and now i m lost in a maze where i couldnt find the exit....
....
ystrdae....someone jus told mi that he likes a gurl alrd...
bt the time i receive and look at the msg...
i was shocked and my mind was totally blank....
i sudden pain could jus be felt in my heart..u may say is fake de la...
no..is realli painfull...and i couldnt breathe probably...
then i noe sth more bt i didnt wan to tell here as i promised someone...
bt then...i jus keep on crying and cryin...
so..all along he doesnt like mi...
n...all along is mi the one who jus fall into him blindly thinkin tat may b he loves mi...
wtf...silly??
omg...?cant believe i m dng such things...
HANG U...!!!can u jus wake up...slapp urself...wtf...
daydreamin till think imaginery things...pls...
u r such a ugly little gurl that even a guy wans to ignore u....
haha...funny...realli funny...interesting huh...
gettin all so confuse by my self where he jus enjoyin his life ther...
wad's wrng wif mi....
"HANG U!!!!!!!!!!!!"
todae i tot i could do sth great to mark this dae...
haha...ten turn out to be i cryin non-stop...
omg...i tink i m siao le...shld send to mental hospital...lol
realli dun noe how...
i m sry to my frn that now i disappoint them and being sad...
todae when i went out of skl wif charmaine...
she said i look so lost and thinkin alot of things...
haha...ya...i now jus feel like crying more n more...
haix..i m tired loving that guy...i feel so weak now...
hah...have not seen myself being so depress over a guy before...
ya...y did i fall for him...i didnt noe y...
haix...if there is a time machin...i wan go back..to my memory hall...
and erase him...erase all the things wif him...so i can suffer less...
selfish...stewpid...stubborn....baka...i dun noe...wat i should do...
i jus feel down n tired...
i tink i cannot love him forever...bt may be i could use lies to protect our memories...
bt now i tink i dun hav the ability to stand up n be strong....
i m sry to let my frns down...
if i could change everything...i would rather i nv live on tis world...
if i could jus free frm here...i would....
my wings are exhausted...they didnt wan to fly anymore...
hang u ....jus....jus...tired...
--------------hang u------------