Thursday, December 28, 2006
" ; Thursday, December 28, 2006 "
28'12'06
todae was suppose to be a happy dae....
but...
everyting which was planned....
was spoilt....
was gone.....
i promised pauline and some frns to go for a movie[Deathnote2]
i knew i actualli can jus cheat my parents and jus sneak out....
is veri easy for mi....i had plenty of ideas and lies....
but....
this time i choose not to....
becoz....i believe if i let them noe....
it will create a chance to prove them i can be trust....
but for some many yrs....
they nv give mi a chance....
haha....i m so stewpid to ask them again....
i m fifthteen....not three yrs old....
i asked my mom on 26'12 before she left for macao....
she told mi....
mostly is CAN de....but i cannot wear veri punk....
coz will coz alot of attraction....
then i kept a promise wif her....
my heart was enlightened....
i tot 75% can go....
after she ask my auntie....
with this stewpid hope....
it bought mi more disapointment answer...
on 27'12.....
my dad called frm homeland....
he said CANNOT.....
frm a three letter word"CAN"
another three letter word added on it"NOT"
he gave mi alot of excuses and reasons
which i heard of them for hundred of times....
as i couldnt resist anymore....
i told him....
"there is no need to explain so much....
i have expected it.....
is always like that....
for the fifthteen years....
u adults had been repeatin
all these crappin reasons...
again and again....
nevermind...i knew the answer all along...
u guys nv understands mi....
and u guys never try to trust mi...
must well i jus jail myself at home forever!!!!"
my dad scolded mi for that....
and i jus ignore....
then he pass the phone to my mom...
she patiently spoke:
"i had asked ur auntie....
she said that later if u get into any trouble...
no adults is here to look for u....
and some more....
ur face is not ugly...
u r easily attract danger......"
and more craps jus couldnt get into my ears....
i jus replile her:
"i knew it...Bai bai..."
Do0oo...
i hang up the phone...
i knew they were angry...so as i....
i cannot tolerate anymore....
the phrase"the wprld is unfair"
is true...
i cried that nite....with frustration and madness....
i was angry....
as they gave mi hope....
i was sad....
as they made mi disapointed....
i was furious....
s they nv gave mi a chance to prove....
i was evil...
as i m plannin to jus sneak out for my whole entire life...
i knew my aunt still kept the boyfriend thinkin in her mind....
and find lame excuses to prevent mi go out...
i knew she will do that...
i knew it all along....
but i m jus too stewpid to be a good gurl to ask...
next tym....i wont even take the initial to ASK...
it will jus waste my time and energy...
as i alrd knew the answer...
i rather spent time think ideas of sneakin out than seatin there listening to their craps..
since they are in that way....
i will find ways to fight back...
if U[my aunt ,my parents..]
ever read this post.....
i will tell u all these....
if i turn bad....
is u all who made mi....
if m not a person who will sit there listennin to ur craps...
and lettin u treat mi like a pet....
i m tellin u....
I W.O.N.T!!!!!
And, life without DUMMY will be equal to the worst night mare...31'May'08
