Friday, December 08, 2006
" ; Friday, December 08, 2006 "
8'12'06
SOrri....
that's todae's title...
todae cannot say anymore 'haha' liao....
todae...i did a veri bad thing to my family....
may be to teenagers like mii wont discover this mistake until ur parents scolded u...
yesterdae....i onlined and searched through the web....
i found a website of lolita's clothes....
then...one set of dress attracted my attention....
and when i looked at the price is damn expensive...
and also at the shop where i always go doesnt sell that set of dress...
i found it veri speacial and unique....
and actualii i can make m y own...
but the sowing skill is too complicated....and i think i cant do it....
and so....with the stewpidness in mi...
i printed out the picture...and asked my sleepy dad whether i can go ask pple make the dress anot....
and he say ok....wif that ok...i tot he agreed mii to go and pay someone to do....
and all along of my tots are faults....
i didnt noe that i will bring so many trouble and sadness to my parents....
todae....after going to work....
i went to buy those cloth...it cost $160 macao dollar....
i knew it was expensive....and i tell u...this was the 2nd step i took wrngly...
and there....i went to the shop my dad intro....
but the dress maker was not there and his student say he dont noe how to make...
and wif that foolish passion.....
i walked myself all the way to another shop.....it was far....
then i let the dress maker hav my bussiness....
and that was the third step that went wrng....
then dressmaker said $200 macao dollar....
i knew it was much more expensive to buy a dress in my usual shop....
but i didnt noe how to stop and control myself...
i m too much into spentin my $$....
i didnt noe all these had cost alot on my parents....
afterthat....i called my anxious mom who was waitin for mi at home that i will be late...
frm there...she started to panick....she was afraid that i will be cheated by pple...
when i reached home to face the music....
she realli terribly scolded mii...
this was the first time i sat quietly on a chair and listen the holy bible...
i didnt noe why i m like tat..
but i absolutely knew i had done wrong..
adn may be bcoz this...i keep quite and didnt scold her back....
she was veri angry....she said i had bought a lot of things...and it all cost alot...
but i knew almost all the things i bought...i paid it...onli half of it??or lesser even....
but i kept silently....my throat was stuck by saliva...i was speechless....
when she said till my dad and her veri tired...everidae after work...
and all the money goes to my studyin....
and one dae...or perharps tmr..she might not walk again...
bcoz her idiot backbone hit by her bro wif a chair....
i realli waken by then.,..
i knew i was totally wrong....
i felt terribly bad....i felt gulitiness rushin up my soul....
i felt the painness....i knew i m sorry.....but i had done it...and i didnt noe wad to do...
my hands went limply by my sides....sweatly....
u may sae...chey first time nvm la...
is not tat....
this time...actualli...i wanted to prove to them...i m old enuf to handle things...
but...bb..but....i tink i failed them....
like that time go taiwan....
i wanted to go shoppin....but my mom is veri exhausted....
but jus don know why...the temptation of shoppin won my little angel....
i insist on shoppin and at last they allowed mi to shop alone./..
which they knew is a risk....and tt time...i wanted to proof....
but i failed them too.....i promised to pick uo the phone whenever it rang...
but then place were too crowded and noisy that i didnt even hear it....
they were realli worried abt mi..i felt it...and in my heart i promise not to repeat...
i said hundred of sorries and apologies...but i m so afraid it will jus let them lost trust in mi...
so this time...i realli wanted to do a good one....but once again...i failed them....
during afternoon....
we went to pick up my dad....
and in the car...the scolded again....
that time...i realli feel like crying...
as i think i realli is a shitty idiotic fool...
my mom screamed at mi loudly...and angrily....
i was territfied...i kept pullin my long sleeves shirt nervously....
they was angry bcoz i didnt discuss wif them first..and i tink is true...
and for this ting..i tink is habit...is bcoz my auntie too strict...and i always do things behind her back....and for this i made my parents beri beri nervous....
i felt realli depressed over my actions....
i knew they were carin for mi....
but i didnt even care abt their feelings and i jus....
i jus wanna to let them rest and doesnt wan to bother them...
but in the end..i jus earned them dislikes....
they knew macao more than mi...they knew sowin more then mi...
they knew those experiences...more than...much more....
they didnt wan mi to get hurt and fall into pple's trap like them....
they wanted to warn mi....
they are protectin mi.,..and i jus unknowningly hurt their feelings...
my dad and i then went to the shop and asked clearly and looked at the design...
and luckily my dad agreed with the 2 bucks...he said the set od dress realli worth that...
but jus 50 dollar expensive...
on the way home...
i stuffed my hands into the small pocket on my jacket...and followed silently after my dad...
and i knew he will be dng lecture....
and i felt thousands of sharp knife pokin my heart again...after mom's
bcoz dad is my favourite papa...and now...i lost his trust
i m realli scared....i m frightened....
when i reached home....
i went to my room and locked myself up...
tears jus came flushin down....i m wrong...totally wrng....
and i knew it....but i m glad i improved...
if it was last tym de hang u...i will surely scolded my parents and make a big fess of it...
then i locked myself up and started typin the blog....
i jus wanted to write all these down as a punishment...
i wan to reflect my gulity....
half way through.....they two knocked the door....
they asked mi to eat dinner....
i said i didnt wan to eat...
that time...i was tryin to act brave and strong...but inside was crying...
aAW....that;s hang u.....
when i opened the door...they two standed there....
i m realli touched as they nv gave up on mi....
when i reached the dinner table....
when i jus put the first spoon of rice into my mouth....
i jus cried throughoutly....out of control.....
i said sori to them...
and my mom jus came and hugged mi....
and they forgave mi....
i dun noe how to express my feelings here...
but i jus feel warmth....realli melting...
family forgiveness is the best cure of ur gulitiness...
SORRY.......
SOrri....
that's todae's title...
todae cannot say anymore 'haha' liao....
todae...i did a veri bad thing to my family....
may be to teenagers like mii wont discover this mistake until ur parents scolded u...
yesterdae....i onlined and searched through the web....
i found a website of lolita's clothes....
then...one set of dress attracted my attention....
and when i looked at the price is damn expensive...
and also at the shop where i always go doesnt sell that set of dress...
i found it veri speacial and unique....
and actualii i can make m y own...
but the sowing skill is too complicated....and i think i cant do it....
and so....with the stewpidness in mi...
i printed out the picture...and asked my sleepy dad whether i can go ask pple make the dress anot....
and he say ok....wif that ok...i tot he agreed mii to go and pay someone to do....
and all along of my tots are faults....
i didnt noe that i will bring so many trouble and sadness to my parents....
todae....after going to work....
i went to buy those cloth...it cost $160 macao dollar....
i knew it was expensive....and i tell u...this was the 2nd step i took wrngly...
and there....i went to the shop my dad intro....
but the dress maker was not there and his student say he dont noe how to make...
and wif that foolish passion.....
i walked myself all the way to another shop.....it was far....
then i let the dress maker hav my bussiness....
and that was the third step that went wrng....
then dressmaker said $200 macao dollar....
i knew it was much more expensive to buy a dress in my usual shop....
but i didnt noe how to stop and control myself...
i m too much into spentin my $$....
i didnt noe all these had cost alot on my parents....
afterthat....i called my anxious mom who was waitin for mi at home that i will be late...
frm there...she started to panick....she was afraid that i will be cheated by pple...
when i reached home to face the music....
she realli terribly scolded mii...
this was the first time i sat quietly on a chair and listen the holy bible...
i didnt noe why i m like tat..
but i absolutely knew i had done wrong..
adn may be bcoz this...i keep quite and didnt scold her back....
she was veri angry....she said i had bought a lot of things...and it all cost alot...
but i knew almost all the things i bought...i paid it...onli half of it??or lesser even....
but i kept silently....my throat was stuck by saliva...i was speechless....
when she said till my dad and her veri tired...everidae after work...
and all the money goes to my studyin....
and one dae...or perharps tmr..she might not walk again...
bcoz her idiot backbone hit by her bro wif a chair....
i realli waken by then.,..
i knew i was totally wrong....
i felt terribly bad....i felt gulitiness rushin up my soul....
i felt the painness....i knew i m sorry.....but i had done it...and i didnt noe wad to do...
my hands went limply by my sides....sweatly....
u may sae...chey first time nvm la...
is not tat....
this time...actualli...i wanted to prove to them...i m old enuf to handle things...
but...bb..but....i tink i failed them....
like that time go taiwan....
i wanted to go shoppin....but my mom is veri exhausted....
but jus don know why...the temptation of shoppin won my little angel....
i insist on shoppin and at last they allowed mi to shop alone./..
which they knew is a risk....and tt time...i wanted to proof....
but i failed them too.....i promised to pick uo the phone whenever it rang...
but then place were too crowded and noisy that i didnt even hear it....
they were realli worried abt mi..i felt it...and in my heart i promise not to repeat...
i said hundred of sorries and apologies...but i m so afraid it will jus let them lost trust in mi...
so this time...i realli wanted to do a good one....but once again...i failed them....
during afternoon....
we went to pick up my dad....
and in the car...the scolded again....
that time...i realli feel like crying...
as i think i realli is a shitty idiotic fool...
my mom screamed at mi loudly...and angrily....
i was territfied...i kept pullin my long sleeves shirt nervously....
they was angry bcoz i didnt discuss wif them first..and i tink is true...
and for this ting..i tink is habit...is bcoz my auntie too strict...and i always do things behind her back....and for this i made my parents beri beri nervous....
i felt realli depressed over my actions....
i knew they were carin for mi....
but i didnt even care abt their feelings and i jus....
i jus wanna to let them rest and doesnt wan to bother them...
but in the end..i jus earned them dislikes....
they knew macao more than mi...they knew sowin more then mi...
they knew those experiences...more than...much more....
they didnt wan mi to get hurt and fall into pple's trap like them....
they wanted to warn mi....
they are protectin mi.,..and i jus unknowningly hurt their feelings...
my dad and i then went to the shop and asked clearly and looked at the design...
and luckily my dad agreed with the 2 bucks...he said the set od dress realli worth that...
but jus 50 dollar expensive...
on the way home...
i stuffed my hands into the small pocket on my jacket...and followed silently after my dad...
and i knew he will be dng lecture....
and i felt thousands of sharp knife pokin my heart again...after mom's
bcoz dad is my favourite papa...and now...i lost his trust
i m realli scared....i m frightened....
when i reached home....
i went to my room and locked myself up...
tears jus came flushin down....i m wrong...totally wrng....
and i knew it....but i m glad i improved...
if it was last tym de hang u...i will surely scolded my parents and make a big fess of it...
then i locked myself up and started typin the blog....
i jus wanted to write all these down as a punishment...
i wan to reflect my gulity....
half way through.....they two knocked the door....
they asked mi to eat dinner....
i said i didnt wan to eat...
that time...i was tryin to act brave and strong...but inside was crying...
aAW....that;s hang u.....
when i opened the door...they two standed there....
i m realli touched as they nv gave up on mi....
when i reached the dinner table....
when i jus put the first spoon of rice into my mouth....
i jus cried throughoutly....out of control.....
i said sori to them...
and my mom jus came and hugged mi....
and they forgave mi....
i dun noe how to express my feelings here...
but i jus feel warmth....realli melting...
family forgiveness is the best cure of ur gulitiness...
SORRY.......
And, life without DUMMY will be equal to the worst night mare...31'May'08
