Thursday, February 28, 2008
" ; Thursday, February 28, 2008 "
28th of Feb...
HAPPY BURTHDAY TO MY DEAREST WIFE!
yesterday...so it's belated....!
i told me a long time to discover my mistake...
my mistake in producing poor results recently...
for this....i have not been in good mood and was pretty upset...
unknowing why i studied so hard but the product doesnt seemed to match...
nights and nights i thought about that...
mourning over the drop in my grades and probably my bad behaviour...
i came out with several problems and soloutions...
one...i must be too concern over the marks and ranking...
two....as mentioned previously..i became panicked during tests....
third...all these lead to confusion and misleading ideas in my mind...
forth....i am too active in class competitions and neglecting my studies somehow...
why neglected?when i worked so hard for each subjects...?
i think the main reason is the lethargic in me...
reaching home everyday in the evening...
didn't get the little nap i usually had....
stressing myself too much....
and my goal and ambitions eventually became an obstacle in my studies...
no longer a motivation for my studies but a burden...
a burden i may not be able to cope or resist...
sometimes i felt so discouraged and demoralized by the results...
but i thought over it and decided that i shall get out of the dark hole
and may be start to reflect on myself..
on the weaknesses and faults....
with all the problems figured out...
i took actions to save my devastating studies...
i locked up my laptop till i had finished all my work...
i shifted my studying place to the dinning room where i felt i can concentrate more...
From there...i felt the urge that i want to do this right...
And i WILL....
i know the god is testing my patient and understanding...
i know...
thus...i rather i fail now...then i do badly in O LVL
it's hard to believe i am deproving...
the teachers are pushing down on me...
saying that i m degrading...
however...they didnt know all these words increased the pressure in me..
causing me more streeful and frustrated...
cant they see i worked very hard for every test...
it's just not maintaining the top..
it doesnt mean the end of the world...
i hope they can say some motivating stuff....
and may be i will feel better...
^^
whatever it it...i have the motivation to do well again..
i learn from my mistakes and each of these obstacles...
i will conquer them....
to achieve my victory...
And, life without DUMMY will be equal to the worst night mare...31'May'08
